Tuesday, 15 April 2008

Despondency

I am wiped out and tired. It has been one of those long days at home that I hate. There has been raining and sleeting. The patterns are squashed against my windows. One of those long days at home and alone that I hate. There is very little light now in my flat; my sofa feels dull, it supports my wait. There is no sound in my flat. I am feeling just awful. My nose is running. I hear a noise that sounds like a scratching. In the corner of my floor there is a black garden beetle. Why is it in my flat? My flat is on the sixth floor of a building. There are no gardens anywhere near my flat. The beetle is very big for a beetle, I have never seen a beetle as big as this beetle. Its back is shining. I feel as though the beetle is going to start speaking to me any second. One second later the beetle starts to speak to me. It has a high pitched voice and is terrifying. It says, "You are boring. Why are you so boring, little man? You have never done anything that is worthwhile. You are a lazy and fat little man of no worth." The beetle is right. That is one clever beetle. "You don't have any hope. I hate you little man. Nothing you do has ever been good. Why don't you say something back to me little man?" The beetle's words are seriously hurting my feelings. I feel animosity towards the beetle. I look at the window and the rain, and the grey light. "Waster. You are a waster." I tread on the beetle and sit back down.

5 comments:

xtx said...

fuckin beetles

chris killen said...

there has been nothing new on here for over a month. i feel despondent. a debilitatingly intense, more-than-full-time job, moving flats, and other social obligations is 'no excuse'.

xtx said...

what chris said plus 'i miss you'

ryan manning said...

the asian britney spears

xtx said...

i miss this blog and I miss socrates. i think i saw a photo or a video of socrates once and thought him attractive. i wasn't sure if it was him or not, but wanted to believe it because it would then mean that i like him both inside and out. too bad he is married or gay. too bad he lives across the oceans. too bad he has an english accent which melts me in that wet girl way. too bad he stopped blogging. that is too bad.