Friday, 28 November 2008


If you want a copy and haven't done so please e-mail me immediately with your postal address.

It is the best thing I have ever done.

Thursday, 27 November 2008

Chap Book

It's nearly done.
Only 1.5 chapters remain.

Wednesday, 19 November 2008

Calm down

I think that there is too much stress and trouble in my life for me to be a healthy young man.

I am sitting as always alone on my sofa wondering about the intricacies and tribulations of my life and the lives of others. I feel as though a lot of people might have severe and enduring mental health problems that aren't being correctly treated by a qualified and caring mental health support worker/project worker.

I am looking at a picture of the human brain in a book entitled, "The Human Brain". The human brain is looking pretty good. I wonder if my human brain looks like the human brain in the picture in "The Human Brain". My human brain is grey and round like the human brain in "The Human Brain".

Gok Wan's human brain is positively beaming. Gok Wan's human brain is studded with diamonds and is decorated with lipstick and blusher. Gok Wan's skull is a Gucci handbag and his human brain is his money and personal belongings.

Simon Cowell's human brain is so god damn angry looking. It is black and bulbous and full of angry thoughts and evil desires. It is covered in the blood of his victims and is floating through mid air striking people down left right and centre.

I want to create a television programme. It is about The Human Brain. In the programme we get lots of celebrities' brains to fight amongst themselves in a small white cube. By the end of the programme the cube's insides are covered in the pulp of mashed up famous brains.

I am going to write a book on the human brain. The book will be called "Flesh Feast; The Human Brain".

Dancing Disco Dancing

Saturday, 15 November 2008

Cream Soda

I am drinking the most delicious creamed soda I have ever laid my tongue on.

Creamy soda.

Thick, rich, creamed soda.

It is so god damn sweet and creamy.

Thursday, 13 November 2008


It is late at night. I am in my bed writing my chapbook.

The computer is slowly and carefully humming. My chapbook is called "Flesh Feast". It is about a man who moves into the flat above me and slowly ruins my life.

My chapbook will be 10 chapters long. So far I have written four and a half chapters. My chapbook will be illustrated. The illustrations are going to be created by me on paint. I might do some of them on photoshop.

My chapbook is becoming one of the best things I have ever written. It is packed full of dread and disaster, as well as hilarious incidents and heart warming moments.

I hate my chapbook.

My chap book is better than me.

It is becoming the most delightful little chapbook you have ever set your eyes on.

So far only one person has said that they want my chapbook. I wish that this was one of the chapters in my chapbook.

Friday, 7 November 2008

Another Interview

Oh my god. I have been interviewed again. This is the best week of my life. This one has pictures.

Thursday, 6 November 2008

My Interview

My dream has come true. I have been interviewed. Track the interview down.

Down down. Deeper and Down.

Tuesday, 4 November 2008

Special Place

I am a fancy girl.

I am a fancy dancing girl. I twirl and spin within veils and sparkles and perfume.

I am on a stage above you. You stare at me and my spinning and twirling. I expose skin to you. You drink the smooth patches in like wine. I expose more skin. You drink the touchable velvet expanse like it's water. When I expose all the skin, you vomit on your shoes.

You look into my eyes. My eyes kill your eyes.

You back away slowly. I continue to dance.

Monday, 3 November 2008

Rainy City Stories

Have accepted my short story about chinatown. See it in all of its glory here.

Sunday, 2 November 2008


I am in the processing of writing and producing a Little Book. I haven't decided what's going to be in it. If you want a copy you have to write a short entry for my blog and send it to my e-mail address. I will post these entries on my blog. No one will know that anyone except me wrote it.

And you will get a book. (If you send me your address)

The book will be ready in one month.

Rich, tomato sauce.

I have just eaten the most deliciously rich tomato sauce I have ever tasted. The sauce was so delicious that it made me eat the entire plate of pasta in under 2 mins.

I washed it down with some sparkling mineral waterfalls.

I carefully asked the waiter whether I could watch the chef making the sauce so that I could learn how to make it in the comfort of my own home. The waiter said "Si".

The waiter guided me through the tables and children into the secret kitchen of the restaurant where the chef lives.

I am in the kitchen now.

The kitchen is dark. There are no lights in here. I can smell rich tomato sauce coming from all around me. I feel like maybe this is heaven. I feel like I am having sexual intercourse with the rich tomato sauce.

I am fumbling through the darkness of the kitchen. I can here some sort of frying in the distance. Maybe there is a light also from the frying. There is definitely a light source. I follow the light.

There it is. The secret of the sauce. There is a human sized bottle. Inside the bottle is a human surrounded by thick, rich, tomato sauce. The bottle is a filter. The human is Lloyd Grossman.