Saturday, 15 May 2010
you are looking tenderly at me, thinking about where we live and the light that is falling on to the two of us from the window. you are thinking about intimacy in the context of all of our experiences together. you are thinking about anything to make you understand the things that we do. you are desperately thinking over and over again that you don't understand. you are grasping at anything nearby and stuffing it into your mind, trying to understand it. you are trying to understand anything. you are rubbing yourself on the carpet trying to understand anything that you feel. i watch you rubbing yourself into the carpet. you are rubbing faster and faster and harder. you are generating heat from the carpet. you are moaning. i am wrapping myself in the blanket from the bed and pressing my face up against the window to try and feel it. i tie the blanket to you and i tie it to me. i am tying the blanket tighter and tighter. i am trying to understand anything about physical sensation. you throw yourself into the bricks of the wall and i smash into the glass. i am trying to understand anything about the world, physical sensation, the relationship between physical and non-physical things, my mind, memory, the passing of time, transience and permanence.