Sunday, 9 March 2008


I am remembering the nightmare of yesterday. Yesterday was our team bonding night at work. Our team needs to work on its integration- we are not close enough to each other - I do not feel at one with the rest of my colleagues. So we went to a karaoke bar. The man who selects the song was an ugly, angry man; ugly men are bald - they have a fixed stare; they look like they are smiling and frowning at the same time; ugly men hate me - they are aggresive men. I start to sing the song. I remember a time when I was younger. My father used to say that I have a lovely voice, he used to say do not sing into your hymn sheet, sing into the audience. I sing the song - it is "Freak Out" by chic. I am a disco diva. I have a spirit of deep and soulful funk inside of me. I am dancing like a dynamo. I am spinning out. I am in control of the room.

I have an erection,

I don't know why but I have an erection.

There is a lot of blood in my penis.

I ejaculate into my trousers.

Everyone knows what I have done.

I am banned from the night spot.

I hate myself.

That is the first time I have had an erection for four months.


Anonymous said...

I just read all the way through this blog from the very first post. It is a masterpiece.

apants said...

my erection is gaining strength thanks to you. strength and length. Hats off.

xtx said...

i celebrate your erection and marvel at its existence.

apants said...

hi socrates.

Mike zak said...

Vivid. Embarassing.

Socrates Adams-Florou said...

Wow - no one has ever said that anything of mine is a masterpiece before. Thank you mysterious friend. Can you give me £500000? I presume you are a wealthy benefactor like the guy out of that book by that old english guy.

Thanks benefactor. The rest of you can fuck off - either you become as gushing as the guy who said I was a magician or whatever or stop reading my blog.

Only joking hah ha -I appreciate your input.

emily mcphillips said...

this made me laugh, one of those sudden laughs that kinda sounds like a weird cough, but still.... i laughed goddammit!

sam pink said...

socrates i am going to bite some hair off of your head in a large clump.

Ben Myers said...

Try not to chop this one off.

(I saw a B-movie last month where a bunch of homeless people play American football with a penis while its owner tries to retrieve it.)