I am remembering the nightmare of yesterday. Yesterday was our team bonding night at work. Our team needs to work on its integration- we are not close enough to each other - I do not feel at one with the rest of my colleagues. So we went to a karaoke bar. The man who selects the song was an ugly, angry man; ugly men are bald - they have a fixed stare; they look like they are smiling and frowning at the same time; ugly men hate me - they are aggresive men. I start to sing the song. I remember a time when I was younger. My father used to say that I have a lovely voice, he used to say do not sing into your hymn sheet, sing into the audience. I sing the song - it is "Freak Out" by chic. I am a disco diva. I have a spirit of deep and soulful funk inside of me. I am dancing like a dynamo. I am spinning out. I am in control of the room.
I have an erection,
I don't know why but I have an erection.
There is a lot of blood in my penis.
I ejaculate into my trousers.
Everyone knows what I have done.
I am banned from the night spot.
I hate myself.
That is the first time I have had an erection for four months.