Thursday, 13 March 2008

Banking Finance ISA Mortgage

I am running low on money. I feel a dangerous feeling - I am living on the edge. I have never checked my bank balance but I know that I am running low on money. I buy things in shops with my debit card and after I have put in my PIN I cross my fingers under the counter. This is creating a panic in me. Finally my card is declined. There are four days until pay day. If I don't have any money then I will probably die. I don't know what to do.

I put my DVDs in a bag and take them to the exchange place. They are worth two pounds each. I have four DVDS. That is eight pounds worth. I exchange them for the money. I am in the black. Eight pounds. This is the first time I have held physical money in my hands for over two years. I need to be careful with my money. My dad says "A fool and his money are easily parted."

I spend the money on 250g of expensive Bavarian ham.

It is the best ham I have ever eaten. It reminds my of a cold forest, a man with a feather in his cap and fluttering snowfall. It is delicious ham. It is succulent and full of earthy, evocative flavour. It is wonderfully silken and marbled with reams of fat. It is very fattening. It is so very very fattening.

I puke up my eight pounds. I am definitely going to die.

6 comments:

xtx said...

just when i think i can't love you any more....

sigh...

emily mcphillips said...

i think this one is my favourite.

apants said...

Maybe you should invest in some stocks and bonds. If you're not a millionaire yet, boy, you'd better be soon. This is America, afterall.

Ben Myers said...

Yesterday I spent £8 on one fish and it wasn't even alive. It was a lemon sole. It was dead.

I improvised some batter and fried
the hell out of it.

I ate it, belched, overwhelming satisfied at my own unjustifiable indulgence and new-found beaugeoise ways.

I don't even know if that is how you spell beaugeoise.

But it is now.

Frank Morgan said...

a) a fool and his money are soon partying

b) bulimia?

c) excellent post

d) a man duhrrr has 'offered you out' in her own uhmerkin way on my/her blog post 'private dickless' how do you feel about that?

e) cash converters, what a rip off, you want to start knockin dvd’s out from a car boot

Alexie said...

Первое, что нужно уметь делать при вождении авто это научиться избегать полицейских на дорогах. Конечно ты вспоминаешь прошлое и зто воспоминания останутся у тебя на все жизнь, как все в школе узнали о твоей проделке из-за болтовни брата.
Очень трогательно ...mortgage finance