There is a delicious selection of biscuits for cheese spread across the plate in front of me. I have Jacob's Cream Crackers. I have a variety of cheeses.
I am being transported to a world in which anything that I can dream of can become my reality. The world is not quite right. I have asked the guardian of the world for a couple of chutneys to help the cheese and biscuits slip down easier.
There is no chutney forthcoming. I would like some chutney now please for god sake. Give me my chutney. Excuse me, I need some chutney from you. You know? Chutney.
I don't want any pickle thanks. Just chutney.
And then all of a sudden I am back in the room in which I was before being transported to the magnificent land where I was lord of everything it seems wrong to me to be forced back into being a less potent being.
I have written a list of things to ask for if I become lord of all things again.
2. A pair of socks.
3. The body and face and personality of Gok Wan.
4. A special stone that sparkles in the light.
5. My lost and missed childhood.
7. Hair remover and muscle increaser.
8. A place to hide.
9. The only one I have ever loved.
10. Give me chutney.
11. I want some chutney.
12. Is it so hard to get some chutney?