Wednesday, 15 October 2008

I wrote this story

I submitted it to the Rainy City site (
I hope they accept it.

I live in chinatown.Every sunday there is a wedding and loads of fireworks go off on the pavement opposite my house. Every time I think that we are under attack by terrorists.The lights in china town are bright and of a number of different lurid colours. They make it look dangerous and seedy. Chinatown makes me feel sexy.There is a restaurant in Chinatown that I always go to. It is the Happy Emperor restaurant. There is a lovely lady in the Happy Emperor Restaurant who gives me free prawn crackers and beer when I go in.I am grotesquely fat due to all of the free beer and prawn crackers. I have started going to a therapist because I am so fat. I feel like a grease ball.My therapist is called "Arnold Phillips". He makes me feel better by forcing me to eat more chinese food. If I don't have something in my mouth I start crying.I spend all of my money on chinese food in chinatown. I go to all of the restaurants on a constant quest for chinese food. I love the smell of chinese food. I go into the bakeries and supermarkets, stuffing food into my gob, getting poorer and fatter.I cannot afford my rent.I now live in one of the gazebos in chinatown. I am homeless and fat. I am a drug addict.Leave me alone.

1 comment:

Eli Regan said...

Solution: Go to that Chinese hypermarket at the end of Oldham St. At least it will save on the pennies.