Wednesday, 1 October 2008

Post Traumatic Stress Erectile Dysfuntion

Today I am in the middle of a week of training at work. Colleagues from the area offices take me and others into the small room and tell me about things that make me into a better worker and more kind person. 

I am in love with the people who train me.

I love you Trudy. 

Trudy is the most beautiful and clever woman I have ever met. She is tender and kind and sweet. Trudy, you will never know the secret and burning passion I have in my fragile heart for you. You will never understand the silent adulation which you cause.

When Trudy leans over the desk I do a small growing. 

I also love Mildred. Mildred does the morning training sometimes. I wrote a poem for Mildred:

Mildred,
Oh Mildred,
Mild Mildred,
When will we wed?
Mildred?
My Mildred

It is called Mildred.

I also love Rowena. Rowena is willowy and lithe like a silvery winter branch. She hands out all of the training booklets and it makes my heart pound to touch the pages she has touched. I wish that her glasses would fall off. There is nothing saucier than a ladies little spectacles falling all over the place. It is as though she is saying "For what I have planned, I would rather not be able to see."

I love you my three beauties.

My dream is that they are my wives and we live on a small canal barge somewhere inaccessible and private. In my dream they all have sex with me all of the time or rather whenever both parties agree in a loving and tender manner. 

I don't really love them I just want to have sex with them. 

I only ever had sex once and it didn't go very well.

I want to try it again some time in case I put it in the wrong bit or whatever.

OH NO


8 comments:

sam pink said...

i like this.

also, i wrote about you at htmlgiant.com

Jenn said...

'small growing'

hee hee

you are ace! Top Banana Work.

Socrates Adams-Florou said...

Sam thanks for writing about me. Jenn you are also really great. are you reading this month at "no point.."?

Eli Regan said...

trudy

rowena

mildred...

loving the fictional names, please tell me they're fictional!

Socrates Adams-Florou said...

hi eli - they are pretty much fictional.

Except Mildred.

Jenn said...

Socrates

I think I am. When is the date. I am reading at Beep Fest. Is that the same thing? Please advise.

Socrates Adams-Florou said...

yeah man - beep fest, I'm seriously excited. I'm going to rename it boozefest!!!!!!!! ahhhahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaaha

Timothy F. Murphy said...

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