http://www.impersonalelectroniccommunication.com/ (Sam Pink) answered my questions. I am training to be a journalist.
What the fuck is your problem?
my problem is that i want to climb a tree and sit on a branch until i die and i don't want anyone to touch me, i think starving to death would be the most painful way to die.
Why don't you leave me alone?
because i enjoy hugging your head to my chest until you pass out. you are my little lamb socrates. i want to walk around outside with you and do "science experiments" on birds and stuff.
Do you like it when I do this?
don't touch me
What rate of pay are you looking for per hour?
aside from whoever wrote "the indian in the cupboard" i am the best writer in the galaxy so i expect to be paid in gold, in diamonds and blood and bones and everything i deserve and i want to have at least ten kids with random women because i was destined by god to procreate and also to cut up little strips of the earth and throw them at the sun
Oh My God, You are Soooooooooooooooooo dreamy!!!
socrates, don't be cute with me. i will dedicate myself to ruining your life. you have no idea how fucking petty i am. i am the shittiest, most petty human, and i will dedicate myself to ruining your life if only to confuse you
How does it make you feel when you fail at something?
i always feel the same.
Why are you such a failure?
i always feel the same
Do you think you will ever succeed at anything?
maybe. right now, i am exercising a lot so i can just beat people up to reduce my anger rather than writing stupid "poems" and other shit to reduce it
Why am I such a failure?
because you forget to put your lips over your teeth while you are doing it
What are your influences?
hardcore drugs and cutting drugged people up in my basement with a box cutter and slayer and gummy worms and nice people and sitting on a couch in my quiet room with a big blanket wrapped around me and funneling a glass full of my own blood into my ass then jumping around until the blood foams and sometimes just having a hot cup of cocoa with some friends catching up on how much everyone hates me